Come and go, anytime
20th June, 2022
Dear diary,
What do you get in mind when you think of an ‘office’? A ‘world’s best boss’ like Michael Scott sitting to bug you, timings set in stone which are flexible only for accommodating over time and a fairly dress-coded corporate setup. That’s what I thought. But my office ticks none of these boxes.
Did you think the place I’ll be joining would be a normative setup? It’s me we are talking about, and anything associated with me is never regular.
My HR told me, “Come and go as you wish,” when I asked her about the office timings. Feels sarcastic, right? Like, “Bitch every office in the world operates from 10 to 6, figure it out yourself. Or come and go as you may. Don’t come, if you will.” Yeah, I tend to think people are cursing me most of the time. It’s my impostor syndrome, don’t worry about it. I should worry about it, but when even I don’t, so shouldn’t you.
Redirecting digression.
I naturally decided to show up at 11. Not too early, not too late. I am one of those people who remain in the waiting room of Google Meet and stare at the ‘No one is here’ statement, waiting until I see at least 3 people in the meet, before joining. Or join at 10:33 if the meeting is at 10:30. The third time’s a charm.
With mom on a video call, I frantically started to throw around clothes from my five kg overweight mega blue suitcase. (For context, read my previous entry.) Before I could collapse into a heap on the floor that cries “I have nothing to wear,” I picked out the safest outfit: plain jeans, a white shirt and a ribbed short black cardigan to go over it. Applying every item of makeup I own on my face for some reason, I headed out. Only to come back because I hadn’t picked up my bag. Typical nervous me.
I was feeling nervous would be an understatement. My stomach churned at a rate that my intestines would have snapped like a rubber band that’s twisted way too much. First day at office, new girl in a southern Indian city and her anxiety as a companion, you can only imagine. I was told that the office existed in a WeWork coworking space nearby. My paranoid self doubted that information.
Nevertheless, I tried booking an Uber auto, to no avail. Rejection is a thing that’s become a part and parcel of my life at this point, be it on the professional front, the romantic arena or auto bhaiyas. Finally, a random auto steered in the direction where my arms flailed hopelessly, and I hailed it. He asked me 200 bucks for a ten-minute ride.
Did I protest at this unusual demand? After all, I come from Lady Shri Ram College, famous for its hyper-feminist students who shout slogans in most instances.
No, I did not.
I gave him the 200.
But I am not to blame. When my anxiety is at its peak, if you demand my kidney, I will happily oblige. Get me the scalpel, just let me reach my destination.
I am a hopeless Bollywood romantic who always has scenarios in her mind. For my first day, I imagined myself walking into the office, everyone stopping dead in their tracks for some unknown reason, and the love of my life standing in front of me, dumbstruck at my entry. Then I impress everyone in my first meeting, hand over finished projects to my boss and emerge a victor from the building, people clapping as I walk out in slo-mo, flipping my hair.
Instead, this happened: I wasn’t allowed into the building as I entered, had to call two of the HRs for the situation who sent a colleague to guide (read: rescue) me. Shared an awkward intro with him in the elevator, following which he led me into a maze of cubicles and offices, and we reached the company’s space. Apparently, the new office is in the process of being set up, so we are here to work for the time being. Sat opposite to a girl whom I asked for earphones for my orientation meeting as I had forgotten mine, obviously, and sat there attending meetings awkwardly, holding my pee and listening to a grumbling stomach.
Finally around three, I dashed out of the office and visited the washroom to do my business. Walking aimlessly out of the WeWork building, I sighed. As I kicked the air, I noticed that the Nexus, previously Forum Mall, stood tall in front of my eyes. I sat on a warm bench there and looked around me. Things are going to get better.
Pulling out my phone, I called mom and decided to have an McD meal for lunch, and roam about the mall for a bit. A date with myself.
Yours forever,
Shane Austen
